by
Sarah Warn
, Editor in Chief
September 17, 2008
larger trends affecting lesbian/bi women in entertainment and the media.
I stopped
keeping up with media's obsessive coverage of 22-year-old Lindsay Lohan a few
years ago, just before she entered rehab for the first time.
It wasn't just
because I lost interest in Lohan. In the last few years, the press has become
obsessed with reporting on, and arguably creating, depressing news stories
about young women engaged in self-destructive or self-obsessed behavior.
Television
shows, entertainment and gossip websites, newspapers and magazines were
overflowing with reports on Britney Spears's marriage troubles, ongoing custody
problems, and career missteps; the latest feud between Paris Hilton and her Simple
Life co-star Nicole Richie; or Lohan's public battle with her father, her
drinking problems, and her inability to show up to work on time.
Around that time on AfterEllen.com, I instituted what
I only semi-jokingly referred to as the "no Britney, Paris, or
Lindsay" rule, which was intended to keep our writers from covering these
topics (and others like them) on the site. Not only because they're boring,
annoying, and repetitive, but because I don't take pleasure from reading or writing
about young women self-destructing.
So when the
first rumors and photos began circulating about a relationship between Lohan
and 30-year-old DJ Samantha Ronson a few years ago, I ignored them — because of
the aforementioned rule, and because I was skeptical.
As the months
wore on and the stories persisted, I realized there might be some truth to the
rumors, after all, but thought Lohan was just doing the bi-for-show thing that
I have seen so many female celebrities do over the years (see: t.A.T.u, Drew
Barrymore, Madonna, Bai Ling, etc.).
I began to
reconsider recently when it finally became clear to me that the two were most
likely involved in a serious relationship, and that Lohan had begun to
turn her life around. She is now working successfully again (guesting on Ugly
Betty, starring in the indie film Labor Pains), and instead of
stories about DUIs, rehab, and workplace reprimands, the tabloids and gossip
blogs only have Lohan's ongoing feud with her father and speculation about her
relationship with Ronson to write about. (OK, and still the occasional punching
of a paparazzo — Rome wasn't built in a day).
Ugly Betty co-star star Eric
Mabius told OK! magazine this week that the actress was "fun to work with"
and that "it was nice to see her girlfriend Sam visiting the set and
offering her that support."
Lohan with Ronson at the Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week on Sept. 6, 2008
All of which
is good news, but puts me and other entertainment journalists with ethics (yes,
we do exist) in a bit of a quandary.
REDEFINING "OUT"
Ronson and Lohan have never verbally
defined their relationship in public, and as a general rule (with some
exceptions), we don't out celebrities on AfterEllen.com.
But this rule
used to be much easier to follow.
In the olden
days of, say, the 1990s, you had to say actually say the words "I'm
gay" or "I'm in a romantic relationship with so-and-so" to some
kind of reputable press outlet to be considered openly gay, or "out."
Otherwise, you were considered "in" (or closeted). (See: Neil Patrick
Harris pre-2006, or Ellen DeGeneres pre-1997.)
There are and
will continue to be those who come out with words, and those who choose not to
come out at all. But beginning in the early part of this decade, a new way of
being out emerged that was characterized by living openly in a same-sex
relationship and not denying or hiding it from the press, but refusing to
actually define it with words.
Jodie Foster
is a prominent example of this. We didn't cover Foster on AfterEllen.com when I
started the site in 2002, because I didn't consider her to be "out."
We have begun
writing about her more in the last few years, however, as Foster began to live
her life a little more openly — thanking her alleged then-partner Cydney
Bernard in a speech, putting her children's full names (which include
"Bernard") on display, and wearing what she referred to as an
"eternity ring" — even though she has never openly declared her
sexual orientation or defined her relationship with Bernard.
In an interview
with More magazine in Sept. 2007, Foster declined to answer direct questions
about her relationship with Bernard, as usual, saying "that would be
trivializing my life, selling it for a magazine."
But, she
added, "I don't have any problems with anybody reporting on my life."
This is what
has changed — both the increased willingness of the mainstream press to
actually report on the lives of gay, lesbian and bisexual celebrities who have
not openly declared their sexual orientation, and the increased willingness of
(some) celebrities to let them.
Foster during a Nim's Island photo shoot in April 2008
There have
always been gay, lesbian and bisexual celebrities who have lived openly in
their day-to-day lives, but stayed closeted in their public life. This was only
possible because the press went along with it. Rock Hudson, Raymond Burr, Greta
Garbo, and Bessie Smith are just a few of the names of people whose sexual
orientation has only been revealed to the broader public posthumously.
Less reputable
tabloids have always been willing to expose the "secrets" of
celebrities, but their information was tainted by a lack of credibility, in
part because readers didn't usually know or have reason to trust the people
behind the tabloids.
Their
distribution was also limited, confined primarily to supermarket checkout lines
and paid subscriptions.
But the
internet suddenly allowed millions of Americans to access this information in
the privacy of their own home, and provided by influential online editors,
writers and bloggers, whose credibility has been painstakingly built over time,
and whose personality (in contrast to the tabloids impersonal style) builds
trust and intimacy with readers.
The line
between what topics were reserved for tabloids versus more mainstream news
outlets also became blurred. As information about celebrities' personal lives
became more widely available, and reported more online, traditional press
outlets were forced to address previously out-of-bounds topics in order to stay
relevant.
This included
reporting on celebrities who have not announced they are gay, lesbian, or bi,
but live their lives as if they are.
And that's why
we find ourselves in 2008 opening up the latest issue of one of the top women's
magazines and reading, with little fanfare, about the "no brainer"
rumors that one of Hollywood's most-talked-about young actresses is in a
serious lesbian relationship.
LIVING OUT LOUD
Lohan and Ronson have accompanied each other almost everywhere for over two
years now. They attend public events together, like last week's VMA's and
Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, and they wear matching rings.
Lindsay's mom
has spoken out in support of their relationship (without specifying what it
is); Samantha's brother's now ex-girlfriend described the two as "a lovely
couple" in an interview; and there have been more paparazzi photos of them
hanging out, kissing, and even grocery-shopping together than most people can
track of.
Lohan with Ronson at an Entertainment Weekly party in Aug. 2006
Last Saturday,
the two women walked through LAX smiling and holding hands, and on Sunday, they
jointly posted a note on Lindsay's MySpace blog encouraging their fans to vote
for Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama, and calling out Republican
Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin on her anti-gay views. "Is our
country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media
obsessed homophobe? Palin's Desire to "save and convert the
gays"-really??" they wrote in the blog post, which they signed
"xoxo Lindsay and Samantha." (The post was widely quoted by the
media, but most press outlets only attributed it to Lohan.)
Lohan might
not be on the cover of Time saying "Yep, I'm Gay" (she declined
an offer from OK! magazine to come out on their cover), but she's on
the cover of Marie Claire this month talking about what a great
influence Samantha has been on her life — refusing to confirm the exact nature
of their relationship, but talking about their matching tattoos, and how
excited she is to be buying a house with an unnamed someone.
Meanwhile,
every gossip and mainstream entertainment site is reporting on rumors of an engagement
between Lohan and Ronson (Lohan's rep denies it's true), MTV News reported
Monday that "Lindsay Lohan Calls Out Sarah Palin for Homophobia", and
Radar magazine recently published a lengthy article devoted to the
relationship between the two women.
(Comedian Bridget
McManus and I were interviewed separately for the Radar article and we
were both misquoted significantly enough that we contacted the magazine for a
retraction; Radar's editor denies any inaccuracy, but when pressed,
admitted the reporter did not use a recording device, but quoted us from notes
she took during our very lengthy phone interviews.)
All of which
begs the question: Is an announcement even necessary when your behavior already
tells the story?
Actress Saffron
Burrows (My Own Worst Enemy, The Bank Job), 35, came out as bisexual
in 1999, telling Tatler magazine in 2000, "If I was going to make
a broad generalization, I'd say that I prefer the company of women. ... On one
level, privacy is important but, on another level, I have no desire to deny
certain things."
But in the
almost 10 years since then, Burrows has rarely been photographed with her
alleged partner, actress Fiona Show (the Harry Potter movies), 50. They
almost never attend public events together, and don't talk about each other in
interviews. Yet both are listed on Britain's Pink List each year, and openly
referred to by most of the press as a couple.
The separation
of the actresses' personal and private lives is obviously intentional, and I'm
not criticizing it. But if actions truly speak louder than words, you could
argue that Lohan and Ronson are more "out" than Burrows and Shaw.
There are
other couples who are redefining the word "out," like Broadway
actress Cherry Jones (24), 51, and Sarah Paulson (Cupid, The
Spirit), 33, who attended the Tony Awards together in 2005 as a couple,
but only occasionally discuss their relationship publicly.
Saffron Burrows (left); Cherry Jones and Sarah Paulson
So what really
makes you "out" today? Does it qualify if you live your life openly
with a partner of the same gender, but don't actually say you're
living your life openly with a partner of the same gender?
I believe the
answer is yes, but I also believe editors and writers across the country will
be struggling with this issue for the next few years — including the staff at
our brother site, AfterElton.com, which covers gay and bisexual men in
entertainment and the media.
of photos of him with his then-boyfriend Reichen Lehmkuhl were first published
on gossip sites online, then referenced in mainstream media outlets. In this
situation, Bass was clearly outed, because the photos were taken without his
knowledge and consent, so AfterElton.com did not write about him as openly gay
prior to his statement in People.
Portia de
Rossi was outed in tabloids in 2003 much the same way, but did not come out
until much later. We did publish an article on AfterEllen.com back then about
the outing of de Rossi, but primarily in order to explore what we saw as the
beginnings of the sea change that has now occurred.
In contrast,
couples like Lohan and Ronson, and Jones and Paulson, and of course, Ellen
DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi, have all willingly allowed their relationship to
be captured by the public, albeit to varying degrees.
DeGeneres and de Rossi's wedding in Aug. 2008
It's a fine
line sometimes, I'll admit, but one that is increasingly possible — and
necessary — to draw.
Straight
celebrities don't announce their heterosexuality, we just make assumptions from
their behavior. In the past, we haven't been able to makes the same conclusions
about celebrities in same-sex relationships, because their day-to-day behavior
was not widely reported on, so an announcement was necessary to counter the
prevailing assumption of heterosexuality.
That's not so
true anymore.
OUT AND INSPIRING
One of the most encouraging aspects to
Lohan's story is the positive influence it may have on those young women who
have followed her life and career over the last several years.
Not only will
they see a very popular (if controversial) young woman living openly in a
lesbian relationship, but the press is giving her girlfriend credit for helping
Lohan get her life back on track.
In July, L.A.
police Chief William Bratton said at a press conference that he had less
problems with the paparazzi since Lohan had "gone gay," adding that
Lohan's relationship with Ronson had "quieted her down" (Lohan's
response was to chastise Bratton publicly by saying, "Police chiefs
shouldn't get involved in everyone else's business when it comes to their
personal life. It's inappropriate.")
In the Marie
Claire interview, the reporter asked Lohan outright whether Samantha is
responsible for the positive changes in her life, to which Lohan replied,
"[Samantha's] a great person. And she's a great influence on people around
her. But I think that anything that's changed in my life is because of me. I've
gone through it and I've had to deal with it and I've made the decision to move
forward."
While I
believe Lohan is right to take most of the credit herself, the fact that the
mainstream media is attributing her positive turnaround in part to a romantic
relationship with Ronson is something we never would have seen even five years
ago.
This can't
help but make things just a little bit easier for teenagers struggling with
their sexuality.
"I’m sure
there are a lot of girls out there who are so much more comfortable because
they love Mean Girls and Lindsay’s dating a girl," actress
Kirsten Dunst recently told Harper's
Bazaar. "I think that couldn’t be better."
Lohan and Ronson at the Mercedes Benz Fashion Week
I agree, and
moving forward, we'll begin covering women like Lohan on AfterEllen.com more —
women who are "out" in their actions, if not in their words. It's
going to be a little murkier from an editorial standpoint, and require more
subjective judgment calls, but that's just the reality of the entertainment
landscape today.
I still
reserve the right not to write about young female celebrities who represent all
the wrong things, though. I'll just call it the "No Britney, Paris or
Tila" rule now.